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Operation Yelsnot - The First Chapter

Tonsley Day of Reckoning

 

The Challenge was the brainchild of the four of Tonsley crew during an alcohol-fuelled evening in the Tonsley. The objective was simple: to find the weirdest sporting event in a year and attend it. The judging... perhaps not so simple.

Following the year long quest, invitations went out around the UK to the fathers of the Yelsnot crew: Lord Chief Justice John Woolf (Foreman), Judge Dick Bruce, Judge John Flood, and Judge Robert Bruce.

Having been sent the three entries from each competitor in advance, the judges met earlier in the evening and were left to debate their final decision upstairs at "The Porterhouse" pub on Maiden Street.

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Judge Robert Bruce, Judge John Woolf,
Judge Dick Bruce and Judge John Flood

The actual announcement of the judge's decision was to take place over dinner in the John Betjeman Dining Room, a private room steeped in history upstairs in Rules of Covent Garden, the oldest restaurant in London.

The dress code was black tie which befitted the dark wood panelled room housing a fine round mahogany table. We were still short of one thing and after we had seen off the Lobster and Crayfish starter, a waiter appeared with a 48" covered silver salver only to reveal to the judges their correct attire for the remainder of the evening - the Tonsley Wigs!

A thoroughly enjoyable and memorable evening continued with a variety of inputs from all the judges, some very good food and too much fine wine. The Judges' final decision was declared by Lord Chief Justice John Woolf as follows:

= FOURTH



Joe: The World Championship of Flounder Tramping

Woolfy: The Annual Mountain Bike Bog Snorkelling Race
 
THIRD
 Rob: The Annual International Festival of Worm Charming
 
SECOND
 Floody: Tar Barrel Racing
 
FIRST
 Woolfy: The Toe Wrestling World Championship

And so it was… the end of a year of dashing around the country in secrecy, mixing it with beardy weirdies and wearing a school boy cap at any opportunity! £100 from each of the runners up was to pass to the winner and to be spent thereafter on an adrenalin sport.

VIDEO CLIPS:

  
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"By then, he was getting it right..."

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"A superb evening..."

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The MenuA table full of promise in the private dining roomFive courses......and plenty of wine
The judges make final preparations......as Joe calms Woolfy's nerves!Robert and JohnJohn and Dick, as Jeeves looks on
John Flood tries to find his name amongst important visitors to the John Betjeman Dining Room "Gentlemen, dinner is served"Woolfy tries to influence the judges......but the judges aren't having any of it!
Joe realises his case is a dead loss and suggests leaving earlyTime for judgement nears...Lord Chief Justice John Woolf receives his wig......Judge John Flood......Judge Dick Bruce...
...Judge Robert BruceJudge Robert Bruce introduces proceedingsThe Lord Chief Justice listens inJudge Dick Bruce considers the evidenceJoe contemplates the numerous weekends he spent trawling the country to visit weird sporting events
Analysis by Judge Dick BruceJudge John Flood picks out the legal flaws......much to everyone's amusement"World Toe Wrestling Champioships... hmmm, yes, we liked that"
"Well blow me down, I bought that car!"BrothersA final input from Judge John Flood......and the round up by Judge Robert Bruce
Lord Chief Justice John Woolf delivers the verdictThe ensemble"Come on John - try and look mean!"The Tonsley boys
The Tonsley old boysOutside Rules in Covent Garden...and home to bed......or perhaps a quick stop off at Tonsley Towers!
Judge John Flood takes in the collection of Tonsley photosWoolfy establishes the rules early on: "No red wine in my sitting room"......so Robert digs out Woolfy's whiskey stash instead!......and everyone drinks it!
How niceA photo for the wives - "we didn't drink much"3am - leaving Tonsley Towers...and to our resting places